2.4 Degrees of Belief
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Hi, and welcome to the blog. I'm Alan, and this is my search for truth, or at least the exploration of my beliefs. It's a rambling gambling exercise in reviewing John's story of his friend Jesus and looking for new insights that can be adopted in my life. I'll tell you right upfront that it's not a religious piece, not a Bible study, or an effort to convince anybody of anything. I'm merely taking a look at some old, familiar stories in a new light and looking for inspiration.
I hope you'll find something that helps in your search. My ultimate goal, though, it's a leave something that might enhance the lives of my grandchildren and their children one day. My greatest wish is that they spend their lives experimenting with the truth, converting it into actions, and enjoying the peace and freedom it produces.
If you have just stumbled upon this blog, you'll find an explanation in the first segment, 1.0 When Faith Becomes Collateral Damage. You’ll find it at AlanMurrayVoiceover.com/blog-3-1.
Belief is a word that I've thrown around all of my life. And never really thought about where my beliefs come from, if there might be different types, and if so, what difference that might make. In this segment, I will jump into that by looking at what John has for us in this encounter of Jesus.
2:23 When he was in Jerusalem during the Passover festival, many believed in his name because they saw the signs that he was doing. 24 But Jesus on his part would not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25 and needed no one to testify about anyone, for he himself knew what was in everyone.Contrary to what I have always thought, the people he “would not entrust himself to are not bad.” They are not "tax collectors and sinners" or even "scribes and Pharisees.” They're not even smokin’ cigarettes and shootin’ pool! John called them believers who believed in Jesus “because they saw the signs he was doing.” They were thunderstruck by him and believed he was who he said he was. That ought to be enough, right? So, by including this passage, John is teaching that even among the believers, there are different types and degrees of belief. As my late friend, Glen Palmer, would say, "That's interestin’.”
Here are my thoughts. I sort my beliefs into two types: external and internal.
The external or physical belief is the most common. It’s where we get the saying, “Seeing is believing” and “I’ll believe it when I see it.” It comes from the outside in, traveling from the eyes through the mind and then to the heart. These can come from a multitude of sources, from TV to social media to the friend next door. We are bombarded with them every day as we scroll-swipe-scroll. I see something over and over and begin to believe it. Probably, it also has something to do with the plasticity of the brain, neurons firing and connecting, but that's way above my pay grade.
The less common internal or spiritual belief says, “Believing leads to seeing.” It comes from the inside out, traveling from the heart through the mind to the eyes. These beliefs bubble up from inside with an “aha” during our quietest moments. Idea. Inspiration. Gut feeling. It's when you just "know that you know that you know" something and then later you see it, or it happens.
Example. The external sees a beautiful pearl while window shopping, says, "Wow, that's a pearl of great price!” and is momentarily enthralled by its beauty. (Outside in)
The internal sees the priceless pearl deep within himself first, desperately searches until he finds it, and then sells everything to buy it. (Inside out)
(Think back to our story of John the Baptist "seeing" the Messiah, before seeing Jesus. That’s internal.)
How Much Do My Beliefs Weigh?
I began to think about about the degree of my beliefs or how much I believe what I believe. How much weight do I give it?
The weight of my belief is measured by the amount of commitment embedded within it. Without commitment, belief remains a mere ideal or a good idea. However, as the level of my commitment increases, the weight of my belief increases and, over time, is transformed into trust, much like carbon is transformed into a diamond. It is this trust that I am looking for!
Trust is what ignites my energy and transforms belief into action. Then, the action confirms my belief and even further increases its weight, my commitment. It’s a virtuous cycle.
This reminds me of something I read in Dan Millman’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Socrates says to Dan, “Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge.
Realization is three-dimensional—a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience.”
What does this mean to me? That is the crucial point, the game changer, and the deepest wish of my seeking soul. I must turn belief into experience.
The Low Hum of Peace and Joy
OK, so what do I know so far? External. Internal. Commitment. I have at least two different types of beliefs within me: those that come from the outside through my senses, and those that come from the inside through my spirit. Plus, each of my beliefs carries a different weight - a different level of commitment. I am loaded with one-dimensional and three-dimensional, external and internal beliefs operating within me at all times. However, in my experience, the beliefs that begin deep within my spirit and work themselves outward carry a much heavier weight of commitment and lead to more effective action. Should I not then focus more on the internal than the external? Exactly!
That's when it occurs to me: John is showing me this in his example of the believers who believed what they saw. Outside-in. External. He wants me to contrast that with how John the Baptist believed what he first saw in his spirit. Internal. Inside-out. It's his lesson on "how to believe." The spiritual life is not about mysticism, candles, incense, robes, organs, and hymns. Those are wonderful add-ons, but not the core of the spiritual life. Simply put, the spiritual life is an exercise in learning to take direction from the deep, quiet moments. And do so a little more today than yesterday. As I do this, the ratio of my internal beliefs to external beliefs increases, and my actions become more in line with my true self.
That's a simple concept, isn’t it? All I need to do to get started is create the quiet moments. Then, the daily goal is for more of my actions to be directed from the inside out by my deeply held beliefs than by external impressions or urges.
Is there a way to monitor it? Yes! By peace and joy. While urges lead to momentary satisfaction and pleasure, it is the internally directed action (the stuff that comes from deep within the quiet) that produces that long-lasting low hum of peace and joy throughout my being.
Commitment Cuts Both Ways
I need to spend a minute to tackle this whole idea of commitment. The believers in the above passage carry no real commitment to Jesus at their degree of belief. That's not a bad thing. It just is what it is. It was a lightweight belief that came from the outside in by what they saw, and he recognized in it a lack of trust. But Jesus on his part would not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people. His action underscores all that I have just seen about the types and weights of beliefs.
But also, in Jesus’ action is another vital lesson: a one-sided relationship will not work. Sure, I could spend a lot of time trying to make it work, but why? He knew relationships all too well, and that is why Jesus used terms like “take my yoke,” “hands to the plow,” and “take up your cross,” which all indicated the required whole-hearted commitment. “Go big or go home!” Just look at the way his disciples left everything behind to follow him! It’s only by doing so that they were able to experience life with him. They were entirely devoted to him, and He to them.
A Personal Note
Several years ago, Karen and I arrived at a simple expression that captured our commitment to each other: "Yours is the hand that I want holding mine when I die.” Over time, we have shortened it to “Yours is the hand.” Settling on that one simple phrase together has smoothed out any confusion or difficulties before they arise.
Later, Karen found a photo of us dancing at a wedding reception and had the part with our hands enlarged with the phrase imprinted. The framed picture sits in our bedroom as a daily reminder of our lifelong commitment.
Jesus, God, and Commitment
Early in my exploration, I had difficulty with the Bible. I was beginning in a dark area of total disbelief, based largely on the unanswered prayers for my granddaughter, Millie. Because I couldn't sort out that which was easy to believe from that which was impossible to believe, I wanted to "throw the baby out with the bathwater.” Perhaps you can relate to this. Along the way, I decided to focus on what I could believe and table or set aside the rest.
Let's consider what we know about Jesus. Historically, we have evidence that he lived, taught, and was crucified. Through scriptural records, we discover what he taught, how he taught, and about his resurrection.
I set science aside and look at the resurrection symbolically - as a sign of commitment. I think of it this way: the creator of the universe, who put his DNA in the code of my being, is fully invested in relationships with his creation. The story of the resurrection is a sign of this ultimate truth. I don't need to stumble over the question of the story's validity or stop at the sign itself, but I should continue in the direction the sign is pointing.
While on earth, Jesus embodied truth, and taught it. I assume class is still in session. Therefore, I will study his life, actions, and teachings to realize and experience this truth in my life.
Conclusion: Converting Truth Into Experience.
A life of converting truth into experience. That's my key takeaway. It’s the landing page where freedom, peace, and joy are found. My drill is to constantly align my consciousness and actions with the truth that bubbles up from within. This includes questioning my belief structure, even if it means learning to live with a question that has no answer, like, “How could a loving, prayer-answering God allow our Millie to die?” It's no longer about being “right” but about staying aligned with my present level of realization. For this to work, I must remain mentally flexible and emotionally pliable.
But life is just a collection of days, right? Therefore, I should take some time daily to be silent, contemplate, and align my attitude with "thy will be done." Then, I should listen for any specific cues to guide me through the day.
Here’s a simple example. Recently, in the quiet, I was reminded of the self-evident truth that all men are created equal and there should be no labels on people. I decided to release my preconceived notions about individuals that I meet (labels) and watch what happened throughout the day. I discovered several people who were completely different from my initial expectations.
Here’s a thought. If I want to make the process more effective, I should write down what I am paying attention to on my to-do list and review what happened the next day. Though it may seem simple, implementing it is challenging because it requires behavior change, and that takes practice - daily, lifelong practice. But that's where the "spiritual adrenaline" or grace comes in and, as Dallas Willard said, “helps me do what I otherwise could not do alone.”
“A belief or an attitude is a great first step, but we must follow it up with daily practice. We must remind ourselves of what we believe in, we must find ways to deepen and strengthen those beliefs; we must see how they hold up under pressure. We must make spiritual practice part of our ordinary life experiences throughout each day. It’s really not that hard... . It just takes practice.”
In the few preceding paragraphs, I have used the word "should" over and over. I did this so you wouldn't think I was an expert on this process. (Nobody batts a thousand. However, I am pretty good at making myself appear better than I am.; If you read more segments, watch out for that.) I am a novice, like a child learning to walk, making daily choices, stumbling, falling, and getting back up again. And will do so for the rest of my life.
Next…In Comes Nicodemus
In the Apple TV series Lessons in Chemistry, Calvin is asked why he reads the same book, Great Expectations, over and over. He responds that each time he reads it, he's a different person. In the next section, I will eavesdrop on a nighttime conversation I've heard hundreds of times to see if I can catch some different meanings.
