3.4 Hopeless to Hopeful
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The explanation for and the introduction to this series is located here - 1.0 When Faith Becomes Collateral Damage. All previous sections are available on my personal blog page.
Let's start today with a random question.
On August 21, 2022, I wrote the following in my notebook: "What if I were born 500 years ago? What parts of me would still be me? Strip away time and place and see what's left.” When you have a minute, sit with this question and let it bother you for a while. Do it over and over, and you'll like what you find.
Let’s Get Back on Track
In the previous section, John told us explicitly that the religious leader, Nicodemus, approached Jesus "by night.” The time of day was important to John because it applies the background to our picture of this all-important meeting. The darkness also added to the depth of our understanding of the storm-cloud conditions within Nicodemus’ mind. Here is a man who spends his day delivering answers, now confounded with questions and straddling a paradox. That’s uncomfortable. Flesh-Spirit. Heaven-Earth. When opposites are both true, psychologists call it "Dialectical Thinking,” which is explained further in this article by Teresa Colón.
Jesus answered his initial question by explaining that each person has two opposing parts - flesh and spirit - and each one has a birth. I think of it as man’s “dual origin.” In this section, we will rejoin that conversation as Jesus continues…
11 “Very truly, I tell you, we speak of what we know and testify to what we have seen, yet you do not receive our testimony. 12 If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things? Jesus is a master teacher and frequently “teaches in twos,” or opposites - earthly vs heavenly, water vs spirit, and seeing vs entering. This teaching method causes Nicodemus to "think in opposites," which has recently been proven to be an organizing principle in the human mind that improves performance in problem-solving. My tendency has been to over-mystify the reasoning method here and, therefore, overlook the genius of Jesus as a teacher.
Remember, verses 11 and 12 take place late at night in a room that’s dark, except for candlelight, and with others asleep. Stop a second or two and imagine it. The two highly intelligent men are talking in hushed tones, almost whispering, and Jesus leans closer to Nicodemus, drops his voice even lower, and explains further about two things: (a) the difference between hearing and receiving and (b) the linear nature of truth’s unfolding. Let’s unpack both of these ideas and discover for ourselves how they will make lives more fulfilling.
Hearing vs. Receiving.
(a) “Yet you do not receive our testimony.” Jesus has already explained the difference between seeing and entering the spiritual realm. And now, hearing vs receiving.
Use your imagination again to see someone knocking on the door. If I only want to see and hear them, I simply open the door, listen, and say goodbye. However, if I want to receive them, I ask them in, offer them a comfortable seat and something to drink, and engage in a conversation with them. Similarly, Jesus says Nicodemus must engage with these ideas he has heard, receive them, and incorporate their truth into his daily actions to really comprehend them.
John wants me to know that the same is true if I want to experience the life my soul deserves. When I receive a flash of insight from my silent contemplation, I must receive it, engage with it, and practice it to gain a true understanding.
Truth must be combined with action to convert knowledge into understanding. In everyday life, think of the normal process of learning a new language, improving a golf swing, or learning a new musical piece. “The proof is in the practice.” Repetition builds muscle memory. It's the same with receiving truth into our life. Do you think that was the first time the Good Samaritan had helped someone who needed it?
How Truth Unfolds
(b) “If I have told you about earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?” Truth unfolds in a linear fashion and is progressive, much like math. For example, if I don't grasp addition and subtraction, I will never get multiplication and long division. One builds on the other. Jesus politely asks how I can expect to comprehend deeper spiritual truths if I’m not even practicing the earthly truth that I already know.
Let's welcome this unsettling thought into the house and engage with it. We are bombarded daily with new information about things that make life less than fulfilling, like the harmful effects of obesity, alcohol, drugs, isolation, and inactivity, yet we tend to disregard them and refuse to alter our behavior.
This is where Mr. Overwhelmed, who is quite satisfied with surface-level living, walks in and says, “No one can adapt to so many new truths simultaneously? Let's change the subject.”
Remember that elsewhere, Jesus said of his new way of living, “The yoke is easy, and the burden is light.” So, here is my idea. I spend some time in contemplation watching for the one thing that keeps coming to mind and rises above the others, the one thing that seems right for me. Examine it. Entertain it. Receive it and begin to practice it. I then observe how action causes peace and joy to increase; inaction causes peace and joy to dwindle. Then, Rinse and Repeat. Theoretically, I do it over and over until this new behavior becomes a habit. Then, I move to the next change.
A Personal Example - Movement Matters
Here’s a personal example. With age, I've realized that staying active is becoming more and more important. Movement matters. That's why, when we were searching for a house five years ago, the top priority was finding a place with a walkable lifestyle. This would remove any obstacle to our daily walks, making it easy to step outside and hit the sidewalks. We found a house in town, located close enough to walk to shops and restaurants, and it has been an excellent decision. It has not only strengthened our bond but also introduced us to some of our favorite people, increasing our peace and joy. However, a few weeks of travel followed by a few weeks of a nasty cough and cold have allowed sedentariness to slip in the back door, using her seductive ways to suggest sitting instead of walking and napping instead of exercise.
Is this merely self-help psychology? At first glance, it may seem so, but there is a slight yet crucial difference that Jesus teaches and models. The prompting is not just an idea from some external source, like a book, comment, Facebook post, or Instagram post. It is a prompting of personal truth from my soul-level self, my deeper self.
Don’t Take My Word for It.
And don't take what I suggest at face value, either. Try it. Go deep inside, carefully evaluate your thoughts, put one into practice, and measure it against your peace and joy monitor. In this way, you become your own “Influencer" and a role model to those around you.
As Emerson noted, this process transforms your life into an experiment. He said, ”All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.”
Centuries before, Paul advised, “Don’t suppress the Spirit, but examine everything carefully and hang on to what is good.” This is the “how to believe” that will add life to our years!
“How Have I Been Deciding?”
If you've read this far, it's a good time to ask yourself, "How have I been deciding which thoughts to turn into actions?” When I want to monitor my decision-making process, I'll return to the surefire method that I mentioned in the previous segment. Nothing has a more profound impact on my daily life. I simply review my to-do lists and calendar for the last few months.
Are most of the checked-off items from the deep sense of who I am becoming, or are they simple tasks related to who I’ve allowed myself to become?
If the next few months follow the same pattern, will it lead to a "more than" life or a "less than" life?
If you perform this simple exercise, your soul will see the answer and make any necessary suggestions.
A Peek Inside My Simple System
The simple system I use to stay on track has two parts: a vision statement and a profile of the kind of person I want to be within that vision. The statement gives words to the soul-deep vision for my life’s third and final chapter. The outline takes the man in that vision and breaks him down into various components. To give you a better idea, I'll share these with you, but remember these are unique to me, coming from my soul, and took hours of thought to develop and refine. Your statement and outline should be unique to you, but you could use this format as a "track to run on.”
I aim for a direct connection between my vision, profile, and short and long-term goals. The same applies to my monthly calendar and daily to-do list. When done effectively, I should be able to draw a line from my to-do's to my goals, back to the outline and vision. Of course, there are daily activities that fall outside of this, such as routine chores that have to be done. So, I review yesterday’s list each morning and highlight those completed items where there is a connection. With one glance, I can tell if the majority of tasks are the priority ones.
Is that all there is to crafting a fulfilling life? No, but it’s a start. It requires time and several refinements to the vision and outline, but essentially, it's just about putting one fulfilling day after another. Notice that I used the word fulfilling and not happy because that’s what the soul seeks. Deep down, we all know that happiness is never more than momentary and, in my opinion, overrated. A fulfilling life is achieved by including in each day those things that matter most, as well as attending to those things that must be done.
From Hopeless to Hopeful.
In complete transparency, a fulfilling life is not free from pain and suffering. "Into each life, some rain must fall.” It will shock you, but don't let it knock you off track like it did me. When our three-year-old granddaughter, Millie, passed away from a rare cancer called rhabdomyosarcoma, our life’s plans were obliterated, and happiness took a hike. Slowly, I am learning to refocus from the hopelessness of living "without her" to the hopefulness of living "because of her."
Millie now travels with me through each day. She’s just on the other side of that thin veil that separates this life from the next. When I face a challenge, I can hear her say, "Let's do it, Pa!” And when it’s done, I can almost see her turning to her newfound friends and saying, "That's my Pa!”
Key Takeaway
I didn't start out to share so much personal material, but I hope that some of it will be of help to you. If I had been born 500 years ago, one part of me that would still be me is my deeper self, my kingdom of heaven, which Jesus called spirit. Regardless of the time and place I find myself, I must allow that spirit to be born within me and practice ways to help it grow and develop. This will result in my spirit directing my decision-making process, bringing my actions in line with eternal truth, and creating a simple but fulfilling life.
In the next segment, Jesus will pull an iconic scene from the Old Testament and use it to continue explaining to Nicodemus how to have a hopeful, fulfilling, and eternal life.
