Just Do It…And Do It Again…And Again

In the last 345 days, I have learned a lot about how to learn a new skill. I can sum it up in the simple phrase: do it, and do it, and do it again. When I’m trying to learn a new skill, I start with research: reading books, articles and watching YouTube videos about it. But with me, little progress is actually made until I actually start to do it. That's difficult for most people, especially me. I've always had a reluctance to try new things if I thought I wouldn't be good at them. Perhaps you were like that too and I hope these words will help. As an admonition, I use the hashtag #TheProofIsInTheProcess to remind me to “get going” and “get doing.”

Let me give you a perfect example - this article.

I have read articles on starting a blog and watched YouTube videos and SquareSpace tutorials. I have even filled dozens of sticky notes with ideas for blog topics. But I finally realized that I needed to start doing it.

The thought did cross my ego, “What if it’s not good - what will people think?” A young man gave me an idea in his YouTube video that give me some freedom to try. His name is Ali Abdaal, and his video is about how to start a YouTube channel. https://youtu.be/XpopyNZKYKw He suggested that no one really cares. No one is paying attention. Everyone is concerned with what they are doing and what others will think of it. Whew! You know, I think that’s right!

The Spotlight Effect

There is something in psychology known as the “spotlight effect.” This is the phenomenon where people tend to overestimate how much others notice aspects of one's appearance or behavior. This causes a lot of social anxiety for people. And from Wikipedia. “The spotlight effect is the psychological phenomenon by which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one's own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others is uncommon.” From study.com, “Here’s an example of the spotlight effect in psychology is when someone has to get up in front of people to speak but is underprepared and is worried they are being judged by everyone.”

When this fear of what others might think keeps me from doing something I want, I tell my ego to remember, “Nobody cares.” They are simply not paying attention. And, do you know what? It helps. Try it.

Oh, then there's the ugly cousin to the above fear: “Whatever skill you’re trying to learn, you won’t be good at it” – at first. Think back. Any past success has come after many little failures: learning to walk, ride a bicycle, learn new computer software, and the list goes on and on. Getting good at something requires doing it repeatedly – failing our way to success.

When these nasty notions appear, and they almost always do, I try reframing the skill as an experiment, telling myself, “Think of trying one or two experiments, see if you like them, and then you can decide whether to continue.” Reframing as an experiment gives me the freedom to fail and try again - or to fail and give up. That’s OK, too. Some things look better from the outside, but once you’re inside, they’re not that interesting anymore. I give myself the freedom to try new, different experiments. 

Gladwell says that research has even settled on the “magic number” of hours it takes to achieve expertise: it is 10,000 hours. And this holds true even for those select few we consider “prodigies.” By the time Mozart composed his first masterwork, he was 21. He had been composing concertos for ten years by this time. This is an important argument against what Gladwell calls the “primacy of talent.” Without the opportunity for intense, prolonged, and concentrated practice, no one can become exceptionally successful in a given field. From LitCharts.com

Of course, I’m not trying to become world-class, just somewhere slightly north of embarrassing.

 I am also reminded of the story about the pottery class, which I heard first from Abdaal.

There was once a pottery teacher called Brian. One month, he decided to split his class into two groups. Group A had to make a pot every day for 30 days (so 30 pots in total). Group B had to work on a single pot for the whole 30 days.

At the end of the month, Brian judged the quality of the pots. Without exception, every one of the top 10 pots came from Group A, the guys that made one pot per day. None came from the group that focused on perfecting their single pot.

When I get paralyzed by the thought, “Where do I start?” I recall Mahan Khalsa’s advice in his best-selling sales book, Let’s Get Real or Let’s Not Play. He suggests, “Start anywhere, go anywhere.” He advises not to get caught up in structuring the perfect interview with the right questions in the correct order. Just get started. I think that’s good advice that can be applied to learning a new skill. Just get started - anywhere.  

This is what the pool look like to me at the beginning. That was the longest 25 yards I had ever seen!

Let me cite two personal examples. I have known for a long time that swimming was the best exercise for me as I got older. I have never been a good swimmer, but I started at the YMCA swimming from one end of the pool to the other. That was the longest 25 yards I had ever seen! Mine was not as much swimming as it was “trying to outrun death to the other end.” I would swim one lap, flip over on my back, and kick my way back as I regained my breath. After several sessions like this, I would swim down and back, then flip over and kick my way back. It wasn’t long before I would swim five laps and kick my way back on the sixth. I just kept showing up and swimming while looking quite foolish. (I mean, you put 195 pounds in a speedo, and you’ve got yourself something.)

I was more shocked at how quickly I progressed. My goal for 2021 was to swim a mile without stopping. And I reached it on November 30, 2021. My goal for this year is to swim at least twice a week and once per month swim a mile without stopping.

 The other example is meditation. I broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of sitting still and silent. (I guess it is a carryover from my childhood days in church. 😊) But I found a couple of sources for guided meditations, some as short as five minutes. They helped me develop the habit of sitting still in silence; now, it’s one of my favorite times of the day. If you would like to check out these YouTube channels that helped me, click these links:

Great Meditation  https://youtu.be/H5WDZWbyH7k

The Mindful Christian  https://youtu.be/ONLFEkb7vTc

 Whatever you’ve thought about doing, whether walking, gardening, learning a new language, or reading more, Think of this heavyweight swimmer and just do it… And do it again… And do it again. One day you’ll be an expert.